I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
