put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
