This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
