You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
