Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
