dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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