just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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