i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
