Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
