I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
