It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
