i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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