This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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