Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
