She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
