I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
