I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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