I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
