I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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