Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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