just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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