I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I bet he comes in French.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No subtext here. People are naked.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
