she kept yelling 'call me bella'
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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