I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
