I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize