i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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