I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
