he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
