your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
