just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize