I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Your penis caused this!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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