I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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