So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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