We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
