She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
