dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
