sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
