I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
