does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
