I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
