Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Bring me that man meat
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
