new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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