Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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