wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
