I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
