would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
