i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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