i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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