You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
