I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
