Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
