he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
