Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
