I wish I could punch you in the face.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
