hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
