I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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