I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
