i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
