Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
