i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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