A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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