nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
