So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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