Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
