We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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