Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
