I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
