This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
