when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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