Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
