I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize