I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
